this day could not have gone any better. bumped my psychology grade way up after taking the final (NEEDED THAT), had an AWESOME date with jared, got laid, matt and i are friends again, and devyn is going with me to the show on friday!!! this is insane right now. and i’m going back home on sunday for a few days and matt and i are gonna hang out after sooo long not talking . what have i done to deserve such happiness!!
i was thinking about the guy that i lost my virginity to and how i felt about it at the time, and it made me kind of sad. he was this “experienced” guy who had already had sex before, and had girlfriends, so it wasn’t a big deal at all to him (i wasn’t a big deal to him either). i mean we were both 17, but i was sooo behind him with the “experience” and maturity stuff. and he didn’t even like me like that. i had a crush on him though, so i was happy just to get the attention. i had barely even kissed a guy before him! the thing that makes me sad though is that (he) i didn’t feel anything afterwards. i wrote that i was bummed that i didn’t lose it to someone that i loved or was even in a relationship with. i was just like whatever, it happened, fuck it! i wish it could’ve been special. now i’m just a slut LOL
haha i just spent quite a while reading my blog from high school. mostly senior/junior year stuff. it was the most entertaining thing! really interesting seeing how i changed and matured and junk. haha at one point i was talking about how proud i was of myself for being “above the influence” and not smoking or drinking or anything. fuckin a, look at me now. crazy how unpredictable life really is! i was so innocent, it’s cute and a little bit embarrassing reading that shit aha. well fuck.
